The definition of family for
me may not be as tradition as most people’s view of a family would be. The family I grew up with consists of my
mother, brother, grandparents, and a step-father. We are all bonded by blood, except for my
step-father and I; he is my brother’s dad.
After my mom and step-father divorced, my step-father married again; I
then had a step-mom, step-sister, and step-brother added to the family I would
rather forget. By all definitions we are
dysfunctional family.
I grew up in a home where I was beat on a daily basis by
an ego-manic step-father starting at the age of five; I thought at the age of
six that this happened in all kid’s family.
I thought all dads taught their kids to behave this way, and soon I
thought this was just the way a dad showed his love for his kid. Little did I know at that age that his
actions were terribly wrong and unjust.
He always supported us, and we never went without anything. I knew it was important that we always had
food and a place to live, and any good dad would support his family in this
way, I thought. Although he was an awful
father, he was still a family member, because he married my mom and is blood to
my brother.
My brother is a big part of family for me, for so much
has happened with him in my life. It is
not just the blood bond that makes us family, but everything we have been threw
in life. Honestly when he was born I
hated him. Not long after he was born is
when my step-father turned into the monster that tortured me. He had not always been that way; I was his
princess before my brother came along.
When my brother Dustin was born life changed for me. All I knew was this thing came along that I
did not want in my life. I took the
abuse I was enduring out on him. I can
remember a time I was seven, and I got so mad at him that I kicked him down a
flight of stairs when he was two. I did
not know any better, I was being taught to love your family you had to hurt
them. To me love was anger. Our bond with one another is still distressed,
but not as violent as it use to be.
My mother Sheri did not show me anger though which was
confusing, she would hold me tight, kiss me, and tell me one day it would all
be alright. It took me a long time to
accept my mother’s love because I was so mixed-up inside. After she and my step-father divorced, I
would constantly run away to his house.
After a terrible custody battle and being kidnapped by him for a year,
my mother finally got custody of me. It
took a lot of therapy to break through the years of abuse, but she never gave
up on me. In the end she is the one
family member I can always count on to be there for me whenever I need
her. That is part of being a family;
always being able to count on the other one for support when needed, and never
giving up on them. This is where my
grandparents on my real dad’s side are exceptional family members.
Grandma and Grandpa Frazier have always been there for me
when I needed them after my step-father and mom divorced. I was able to start going and spending time
with them in the summer. This was a
great escape for me, and they always showed me unconditional love. Unconditional love is something that is
unspoken in a family. Anytime I needed
to talk I could pick the phone up and call grandma and still can. She always listens with all ears and full of
interest. She offers advice when needed,
and she never criticizes. Next to my mom
and brother, my grandma has been my closest family member.
Through all the dysfunction in my family I have still
learned valuable lessons, morals, and what love should really be,
unconditional. My mom and I are closer
than we ever have been, and she is very supportive of me in any decision I
make. I have nothing to do with my
deranged step-father; he is not family to me, for you do not treat a family
member the way he did me. Through the
years though I have developed a bond with my real father; he will always be
family. My grandparents and I talk
regularly, and they to support me in all my endeavors’ as long as they will not
harm me in some way. To me support and
unconditional love are what family is all about.
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